


(In)dubitable Equivalence aka Press Your Lips To My Festering Wounds... Like A Band-Aid For My Broken Heart

by timwsgl



Series: Unbroken!verse [3]
Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Original Character Death(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6832108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timwsgl/pseuds/timwsgl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I may have lost my heart to you, but I'm not giving up my soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place some time after CMOYS, but what happened there has no direct impact here.
> 
> P.S. This is only one version of what could have happened after CMOYS.

I breathe.  
I swallow.  
I choke.  
I cry.  
  
The cycle repeats. Life goes on.  
  
Whoever said that time heals all wounds obviously never got so much as a scratch on themselves; because even the pain of a paper cut can be remembered, let alone that of a broken heart. What’s done is done. You don’t heal, ‘mend’ a broken heart because the cracks are never going to disappear. Scar tissues cover the wounds... what’s left is more bandage then muscle, holding the pieces together.  
  
I wonder if I was holding you back, or if it was the other way around. You told me that if I wanted something badly enough, it didn’t matter what stood in the way. That was how you operated. But you never told me what came after. But then I guess I always knew...  
  
Over the course of this (farce of a) relationship, our mouths were shaping words we didn’t even mean. And even when we voiced the words, what came out had layers of subtexts and hidden meanings piled upon each other. But at least our bodies were honest. Even when you never said the words, I knew that I ~~meant~~ mean something to you.  
  
I’m not going to say something clichéd about you loving me enough to let me go. Because that never made sense to you. If you loved somebody and were loved in return, how could either bear to let the other go? But will this love be enough if it has been scrapped together with what is left of us?  
  
After what has happened, we both knew that this was going to be inevitable. But you, in all your stubbornness, refused to acknowledge it. You thought that if you held on tightly enough, the cracks in this relationship would never shatter apart; that if we made love enough, we could keep the truth at bay.  
  
But I'm not strong enough to hold on to the broken pieces of me. And I won't ask this of you...  
  
So here’s what I’m gonna do.  
  
As you said, I should go after what I’ve always wanted.

... And it's in exchange for you.  
  
_Love,_  
_Takaba Akihito_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our love is a destructive force.

_Asami stands there, gun held loosely at his side. His flinty eyes lift from the body on the ground, and latch onto the wide eyes of Akihito._  
  
_“You… you k-killed him,” And this is an understatement. After what Asami did to the man, death is a mercy._  
  
_Asami does not react to the statement. His narrowed eyes continue boring into Akihito, and Akihito tears his eyes away. Asami doesn’t reach out towards him. They stand apart from each other, figures that almost seem to be facing off. One straight and tall, looking like a crazed golden-eyed berserker with blood staining his front; the other with his hands wrapped around his finely trembling body, as if he’s protecting himself. But against what, he does not know._  
  
_But what he does know is that when it comes down to it, he would never have traded someone else’s life for his._  
  
_Akihito’s mouth works wordlessly. There are so many questions he wants to ask._ Why didn’t you just shoot him in the first place? Why did I have to see it? _And he hates himself for these thoughts._  
  
_Because he knows that it was never about magnitude, but about culpability. And he wonders what it says about himself that he knew Asami was capable of violence, but he still stays by Asami’s side._  
  
_Akihito has never realised how easy it was to take for granted things that he had always known subconsciously, but never had to witness for himself._  
  
_His eyes flit to the body lying grotesquely  at Asami’s feet, drawn against his will…_ And Akihito jerks himself awake as the images of the man’s broken body brand themselves into his mind and leave searing afterimages superimposed before his unseeing eyes even as he fights to forget the killing ( _massacre_ ). He struggles to breathe through the unvoiced screams clogging up his throat. And even after he claws at his throat and he is finally able to gasp out a breath and gulp in needed air, he remembers the words.  
  
_“_ _Watch your lover. This is what he truly is. This is the man for whom you spread your legs for...”_  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
In another part of the world, a man stands looking out over his empire.  He remembers the words that he vowed to himself that night just before his and Akihito’s world unravelled at its seams. Words _(Threat, promise and vow all jumbled up into one_ ) that he knows that he will never say out loud. And he wonders at the irony that the person who inspires such destruction in him is the only one whom he doesn’t want knowing the violence he’s capable of, even though it’s already too late…  
  
_I would have laid the world at your feet. And you would have looked into my eyes unflinchingly. As I held your hand while you walked beside me..._

_On this ground paved with broken bodies._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you know of the end, but what about its beginning?


End file.
